Dark of Winter
by Lord of Kavaka
Summary: Coming out of World War II, the song had a hopefullness to it. Now, it held an omninous dread for her. And it just kept coming back again and again to taunt them. 2013/14 Winter Ficathon Entry. Rated M for violence, language, and mature sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

**TITLE**: Dark of Winter  
**AUTHOR**: Lord of Kavaka  
**CHARACTERS**: Kate Beckett/Richard Castle  
**RATING**: M  
**TIMELINE**: Season 6; Post-_Disciple_ (6x09)  
**STORY TYPE**: Angst/Romance/Drama/Crime  
**SPOILERS**: Anything from Season 1-6.  
**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own them, and I make no profit.  
**SUMMARY**: Coming out of World War II, the song had a hopefullness to it. Now, it held an omninous dread for her. And it just kept coming back again and again to taunt them. 2013/14 Winter Ficathon Entry. Rated M for violence and mature sexual content.  
**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: So I got peer-pressured into joining the Winter Ficathon fun by a friend. _Prompt 3: The following person, place and thing must be included in your story: Tyson, Mexico City, Castle's "Casino Royale" copy with notations in it._

* * *

**Dark of Winter – Chapter 1**

She could feel his hands on her. It was magical, the way he touched her. No man had ever worshipped her body the way he did. He was the only one who'd ever taken the time to thoroughly explore and find all those little hidden places that made her squirm and quiver with delight, always ensuring that it was as good for her as it was for him. But it wasn't just her body that he touched. No. It was also her metaphysical being… her soul. He'd taught her that it was okay to risk her heart again, and be loved. She could be free and open with him like never before. No longer was she keeping one foot out the door. She was all in with him, both feet firmly planted.

It was as simple as that.

He loved her, truly and completely, like no one had before. She'd spent so long believing that such a thing was only a dream, a fantasy of a little girl wishing her life would be like fairy tales and end in _happily ever after_. He opened up that possibility—once dormant, hidden in the darkest recesses of her heart—to her again. And it was amazing. Just his presence alone was enough to calm her troubled soul and let it sing.

Speaking of which, she felt like singing right now with what his talented hands were doing to her. With a lazy smile plastered on her face, Kate opened her eyes to grace him with an appreciative gaze, but when she looked for him, she was startled to find she was alone in bed. She knitted her eyebrows together, justifiably perplexed. Rolling over onto her side, she stretched her arm out across the other side of the mattress, finding it disappointedly empty, confirming the fact that she was alone in bed.

Kate frowned, now beyond confused. She could have sworn that his talented hands deliciously roaming her body had been what had woken her. But apparently it had all been her imagination. With a shrug, Kate tossed back the covers and sat up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. It wouldn't be the first time her mind had conjured up lewd and detailed images of a particular mystery author doing wickedly naughty things to her. For the longest time, all Kate had were those dreams. But not that they were together, she preferred the genuine article over her imaginings, no matter how titillating those were.

Yet, when she stood up, Kate discovered that not everything from her dream had been part of her imagination. Her arousal was real… very real. She pulled her lower lip under her teeth and arched her body to glance down at herself, stunned at just how wet she was. Her little gray sleep shorts were soaked. If she didn't know any better, she would've thought she had peed in her sleep.

Kate awkwardly stood there for a moment, her breath coming in heated pants as she fought the urge to rub her legs together and generate some much needed friction. She looked over at the empty side of the bed, knowing that there was a much more satisfying method of relieving her desperate desire.

Swallowing, she brushed her hair back from her face and glanced about for signs of her bedmate. His navy blue robe was missing, as were his slippers, which meant that he'd gotten up, but hadn't yet showered. Kate wrung the hem of her pink pajama jersey in her hands as she thought of where he could have gone so early in the morning. No one could say that Rick Castle was a morning person. So, when there was no body drop or case, it was rare for him to get up so early, unless…

"Nikki," Kate murmured under her breath, eyes going wide with how obvious it was. Nothing could lure Castle away from bed with his favorite detective and fiancée unless it was his writing.

Ignoring her robe, which had been haphazardly tossed onto a nearby armchair last night, Kate strode around the bed and towards the doorway leading into Castle's office. And there he was, just as she thought, sitting at his desk, typing up a storm. The glow of the screen illuminated his face, providing Kate with a view of his ruggedly handsome features in the otherwise dark room.

Smirking mischievously, Kate padded through the threshold and tiptoed over to the desk. She danced her fingers along the hard flat plane, before she found what she sought. And then, with a flick of her wrist, the small lamp on the edge of the desk winked on, startling Castle out of his intense writing haze. So absorbed in his writing, he literally shrieked in fright and almost toppled out of his chair as he jumped back.

"Jesus, Kate!" he gasped, placing a hand over his heart, his chest rising and falling in quick succession.

Planting her hand on the edge of the desk, Kate leaned against it provocatively, knowing that he loved the sight of her bare shoulder, especially when she was wearing the pink-tee she was at present. "You shouldn't stare at the screen with the lights out," she said, adding a hint of allure to her voice and batting her eyelashes. "It's bad for your eyes." She fixed him with a smoldering glare, causing him to hiccup in surprise.

"I… I'll keep that in mind," he fumbled out, clearly out of sorts, unintentionally letting Kate know that her seduction was working.

Slowly, so very slowly, knowing exactly what it did to him, Kate drew her bottom lip under her teeth as she rewarded him with a small smile. He gulped, his eyes darting back and forth between her eyes and lips, before settling back on her eyes.

"So, what are Nikki and Rook up to?" Kate asked, as nonchalantly as she could, waving a hand in the air like whatever it was was nonconsequential.

"Ah…," he pursed his lips and grinned, as he stared up at her in understanding. "I see what this is," he gestured at her seductive posture and come-hither expression. "You just want spoilers."

Kate chuckled and shook her head, taking delight in the befuddled expression that flashed across Castle's features. "Nope," she declared, punctuating it with a saucy wink. "Try again."

Castle's brow creased adorably as he concentrated on what other reasons she would be interrupting his writing and talking to him so enticingly. She watched with what she believed was extreme patience as he took his sweet time coming to the correct conclusion. Yep. There it was. He finally hit upon it. His eyebrows shut up and he turned to her, pursing his lips together and giving her a boyish smirk.

"If only this book was entitled _In Heat_, then this little encounter would be very apropos," he murmured, his voice smooth and confident.

She rolled her eyes, and gave him a little glare. "Really? That's what you're going with? Wanna try again?"

Castle's jaw dropped open and he squinted his eyes in thought. "Nope… that's all I got," he said with a shake of his head and a contrite expression for messing up their banter. "Sorry."

"Oh… that's okay, Castle," she told him, giving him a salacious smile and a wiggle of her eyebrows. "You can make it up to me."

His confidence returned, along with his swagger, Castle bounced up from his chair—after properly saving his chapter and shutting his laptop—and stepped around his desk to join her. Kate turned into him and slipped her arms around his neck as he gripped her hips with his hands, holding her closer.

"I'm always more than happy to make it up to you, Detective," he purred, leaning forward to capture her lips in a slow and lingering kiss, leaving her thoroughly dazed and humming with approval.

He pulled back far too soon for Kate's liking, leaving her to nip at the air where his lips had once been. She growled in frustration and squeezed her arms tighter around his neck, tugging him back for another kiss. She rammed her mouth against his, shoving her tongue between his lips when he gasped in surprise at her zeal. His fingers gripped her hips tighter and he pulled her lithe slender body flush to his large broader frame.

"Oh God," she groaned into his mouth when she felt the solidness that was her fiancé. Castle was never going to be ripped like some of her past lovers, but he had skill and innate talent that those others lacked. Above all that, he had love. He loved her, and she loved him, and together they just clicked, fitting together perfectly. When he made love to her, she was transported to another world.

"Kate," he moaned, panting hard as his hands maneuvered around to cup her ass, pulling her hips to his. He smirked smugly when she gasped as the sensation of feeling his arousal pressed so firmly against her.

"I want you," she declared, breathy with want, the flames of desire having never once diminished since she'd awoken from her salacious dream. She nipped at his chin, ghosting her fingers down his chest to wrap around the knot around his waist. She deftly tugged the tie loose and parted his robe, slipping her hands inside to touch his bare skin. "Right here… right now."

"Bed?" Castle rumbled, his head lolling as her fingers roamed up and down his chest and stomach.

"No," she shook her head, decisive and certain, leaning up to brush a quick kiss to his lips. "Here… on the desk."

Castle wet his lips with his tongue and nudged his nose against hers, his eyes fluttering closed. "You sure you wouldn't prefer the bed? It's much more comfortable."

She bobbed her head, resting her forehead against his, bringing her hands up to rest on his chest, above his heart. "Yes. I'm sure," she assured him. "It's not like we haven't done it before."

He smirked, his eyes twinkling with the memory. His hands squeezed her rear tighter and she let out a yelp of delight as he dipped his head down, latching on to her neck and doing wondrous things with his tongue along her pulse point. She arched her neck, giving him more access to her neck and shoulder, closing her eyes as she basked in the knowledgeable ministrations he provided her with.

Moaning as he bit down into her shoulder, soothing it with his tongue, Kate raised her hands and brushed the robe off his shoulders. He smirked, stepping back and allow the barrier to pool on the floor. Her eyes skidded down, mouth watering at the sight of the bulge straining for release against the fabric of his PJ bottoms. But before she could do anything else, Castle was grabbing her by the waist and hoisting her up, planting her ass on the hard surface of the desk.

Kate let out a startled gasp and gripped his shoulders as he stepped between her parted legs, hands coasting up and down her thighs. A shiver ran up her spine as he slanted into her, kissing her deeply, nearly pushing her back down flat on the desk. But she pushed back, reciprocating the kiss, giving as good as she got. Hands flew everywhere, as neither could not _not_ touch one another. Kate yanked at his black-tee, and he leaned back just long enough for her to pull it up and over his head, carelessly tossing the shirt to the floor before tugging him back in for another soaring kiss.

Her name was like a prayer on his lips as he breathed against her cheek, eyes smoky and black with heated desire. Kate closed her eyes and panted heavily, losing herself in the sensations his lips caused across her neck and bare shoulder. He was soon dipping further south, grazing his teeth against the exposed portion of her collarbone. One hand darted up and cupped her breast through the fabric of her pink-tee. His fingers expertly kneaded the soft flesh, as he continued his assault on her creamy shoulder. Kate keened into him, clutching at his hair in tight fists as she felt her gray shorts grow ever wetter with more of her arousal.

Castle's nose twitched, as if he could smell it. He rolled his hips in the bracket of her legs. Kate moaned throatily, grabbing his biceps to keep her grounded in the present, the friction alone was almost unbearable. She needed him so desperately that she was a hair's breath away from falling over the edge.

Kate growled out in need, silencing Castle by devouring his mouth as she slipped her hands down around his large frame, hitching her fingers under the waistband of his PJ bottoms and drawing them down to his knees. Gravity took care of the rest, and soon he was stepping out of the garment and kicking it away. As soon as his PJ bottoms were gone, his erection sprang forth, and Kate let out a cry of glee, smiling at him as she reached for it. Castle groaned, his eyes widening as she wrapped her fingers around him. She grinned wickedly, raising a coy arch of her eyebrow before stroking him with learned expertise. Just as he'd taken the time to discover all the little kicks she enjoyed, so had she with him.

"So good," he moaned, slanting his head against her, his breath hot and moist against her bare shoulder. He pressed a gentle kiss to her skin, before leaning back and grabbing her hands, pulling her away from his throbbing arousal. "I think it's time I make up for my earlier blunder."

Kate bit her lower lip, her heart pounding in her chest as she bobbed her head in agreement. "I think so too," she concurred, arching her hips up to lift her bottom up off the desk. Castle's hands swooped in and pulled her soaked sleeping shorts down her long legs. He knelt down as he guided the garment past her ankles and feet. Now fully divested of the last barrier between them, Kate wiggled her hips and legs, pleading for Castle to come back to her.

He skimmed his fingers up her bare legs, following up with his lips as he teased her with butterfly kisses up along the inside of her thighs. Kate let out an embarrassing whimper as his tongue flicked out and encircled her most sensitive spot. "_Please_," she begged, unashamed of her need for him.

He obliged, swiftly standing up, claiming her mouth in a deep kiss, running his hand through her hair as she arched up into him. He silenced her moan as his other hand snaked down between them and his fingers played with her wet folds. His thumbed flirted around her sensitive nerve bundle and she cried out with pleasure as he slipped one finger inside her. He massaged her inner walls with knowing ease, his eyes watching her face for her tells.

"Oh God, Castle!" she moaned, bucking her hips into his hand as he slipped another finger past her folds. His thumb continued to rub her and she felt the coil beginning to unravel. Panting into his shoulder, Kate felt a warm pooling in the pit of her stomach. Her inner muscles began to tighten around his fingers, and she squeezed her legs around his middle, keeping him in place as she approached oblivion.

"Come for me, Kate," Castle whispered into her ear, voice firm and commanding.

And she did. She closed her eyes tight as she came undone, clutching onto him as she rode out the waves and waves of sexual release. The build-up with her dream, and then all that followed only served to intensify her release. It was like a supernova had exploded inside her, leaving her all dazed and bedazzled. Her cheeks flushed hot as she basked in the glow of her orgasm.

Castle gripped the side of her face with his free hand as the fingers of the other continued to pump in and out of her. He commanded her to open her eyes, and grudgingly she obeyed, staring up at him, completely at his mercy. The pad of his thumb caressed her cheek, and he gazed back at her with lust and love. She licked her lips, coming down from her high, feeling the urge to tell him just how much she loved the way he loved her when Castle silenced anything she might have said by kissing her hard.

Moaning into the kiss, Kate arched her back into his, delighting in the feel of his hand slipping under the hem of her pink jersey shirt and cupping her breast, teasing her nipple and massaging the mound of flesh with his fingers. He pulled his other hand up from between her legs and Kate let out a whimper of disappointment at the loss, but there wasn't enough time to come to terms with their loss, when she felt the tip of his hardness brush up and down her moist folds.

Kate quivered and squirmed her hips in desperate need to have him buried deep inside her. She glared at him, when he pulled back, teasing her. She reached down to grab his side and pulled him back into her, using her parted legs to her advantage, securing her hold on him.

"Don't you dare," she warned, voice all rough with sex.

"I wouldn't dream of it," he replied with his trademark cockiness, before he positioned himself at her entrance and plunged in without preamble.

Kate moaned, loudly, running hands all over him as he pushed further into her, burying himself to the hilt. Her head dropped forward as she inhaled deeply, letting herself relax and adjust to the welcome intrusion. And then he started to move, thrusting his hips slowly at first. Kate clutched his face in her hands and they locked eyes, staring at one another as they both joined the dance, moving as one. Her entire body was alive with sensations sparking throughout her as Castle sped up the pace, pounding into her with such force that he nearly had her raising up off the edge of the desk. She was vaguely aware of the rattle of things falling over, but she was too consumed by her connection with Castle that she paid little attention to anything other than his warm body melding with hers.

Their wet flesh slapped together as they devoured each other, mouths fused together as hands wandered and lingered in all the right places. It wasn't long until Kate once again felt that hot pooling between her legs and the coil deep in her belly began to unravel. Castle's thrusts started to get sloppy, a sure sign that he was close as well. She nudged her nose against his and kissed him quickly, telling him with just that gesture that it was okay to finish it, that she was ready too.

Gritting his teeth, Castle pumped his hips quicker. Kate squeezed her legs around him, feeling her all her muscles begin to tense up. Her breath came in halting gasps as she rose higher and higher to the pinnacle. Castle groaned and rammed hard into her, hitting her at just the right spot and she shattered, crying his name. Castle followed soon after, his hips jerked to a stop as he buried himself as deep as possible inside her. She shivered in pleasure as she felt the warmth of his release spill into her.

Castle breathed heavily and claimed her lips in a fierce and passionate kiss, riding out their mutual releases together. Kate let out a hum of delicious approval as he leaned back and nipped at her nose, gazing at her with a lopsided grin. "Was that good for you?" he asked with a waggle of his eyebrows.

Kate rolled her eyes at him, but smiled just the same, biting her lower lip while her cheeks blushed a bright red as she pulled him back in for another kiss, answering his question in a decidedly non-verbal manner.

When he slipped out of her, she whimpered in displeasure at the loss of their connection. Castle soothed her with a sweep of his hand along the side of her face and a quick kiss to the lips. He winked at her and stepped back, turning around to look for his pajama bottoms, giving her a brilliant view of his delicious backside.

And then the moment was ruined when her cell let out a shrill ring. She groaned, scrubbing a hand down her face as she hopped off the edge of the desk. Kate let out a sharp gasp, surprised at the pleasurable ache between her legs. She pursed her lips and shook her head. Glancing back at the desk, she nearly let out a loud laugh at all of Castle's knickknacks scattered in disarray all across the desktop. Apparently it had been a while since they'd gone at it that hard. She had no complaints though.

The cell continued to ring, oblivious to the post-coital desires of its owner. Gritting her teeth, Kate padded back into the bedroom and snatched her phone off the nightstand.

"Beckett!" she answered curtly. Turning in place, she watched Castle enter the bedroom with their discarded clothing. He winked at her and she smiled back as he deposited their used clothes into the laundry basket. "Uh-huh," she responded to the dispatcher. "Right, okay. I'll be there in twenty."

She hung up and glanced over to Castle as he raised his eyebrow in question.

"We've got a body drop," she informed him.

"Do we have time for a quick shower?" he asked, giving her a suggestive look.

Kate narrowed her eyes at him and shifted her legs, feeling a thrumming need still burning between her legs. She bit her lower lip, flicking her gaze down below Castle's waist before meeting his eyes with a mischievous smirk. "If you're up for it… sure, why not?"

* * *

_***AUTHOR'S NOTE 2**: My friend, who convinced me to join Winter Ficathon, wanted Caskett sex in the first chapter, so I obliged. This opening chapter is slightly deceptive-though there are some subtle foreshadowing lines hidden within-as this story will not be that fluffy, however I will guarantee a happy ending for Caskett._


	2. Chapter 2

**Dark of Winter – Chapter 2**

A fresh patch of snow blanketed the sidewalks, and the air had a crisp chill to it that made a shiver run down her spine. Kate tugged her fashionable red pea coat tighter around her thin frame, and shifted her feet, waiting for Castle to pay the cab driver. Rubbing her hands together, she silently cursed, angry with herself for forgetting her gloves in their rush to get out of the loft. It had been her fault. She had encouraged him to join her in the shower, knowing exactly what was going to happen. The memory of his hands roaming her wet body as he pushed her up against the shower wall was almost enough to keep her warm despite the cold chill in the breeze.

Castle stepped back from the curb as the cab took off in search of a new fare. Turning to him, Kate pursed her lips and smiled, reaching up to straighten his scarf around his neck to make certain he was snug and warm. He reciprocated, ensuring her scarf was tucked just as securely around her neck. His fingers lingered, ghosting across the edge of her jaw, before he let his hand drop.

"I'm having déjà vu," he commented in a low voice, a smirk playing across his face until it fell to a frown. "Except this time you aren't threatening to break my legs."

"The good old days," she chirped with a mischievous grin and a wink, adjusting the lapels of his overcoat before stepping back and sauntering towards the crime scene. She didn't even need to look back to know that Castle hurrying to catch up.

Beckett ducked her head as the uniform held up the yellow police tape for them. They entered the alleyway, and she hesitated, momentarily, feeling an odd sense of foreboding. Castle stopped beside her, narrowing his eyes.

"Everything alright, Kate?" he asked in a quiet voice, providing her with some comforting when he surreptitiously placed a hand on the small of her back.

"Yeah… I'm good," she replied in a halting voice, not all too certain if she really was. "Just, the setting… it's…"

"_Familiar_," Castle finished when her voice trailed off.

Beckett gave an imperceptible nod of her head in confirmation. She then stifled down the tumultuous emotions, steeling herself for the scene that awaited them around the corner. She flashed Castle a grateful smile, before stepping away from his comforting touch, and marching towards the cluster of CSU technicians milling at the end of the alley, her intention was to focus on the present and not dwell on the past.

Esposito appeared off to the side, head ducked down as he scanned through his notepad. He glanced up when they approached, his eyebrows raising in astonishment.

"Yo, Beckett!" he hollered, beckoning them over.

She cast a brief glance back in the direction of the crime scene techs, before succumbing to her colleague's pleading eyes. Castle turned with her as they walked across the alley to join Esposito by the side of a residential complex.

"Hey, Espo," Kate bobbed her head in greeting. "Sorry we're late… got a little distracted."

"I don't want to know," he quickly interjected, scrunching up his face in disgust, making her smirk. Castle stood beside her, matching her amused expression. Esposito shook his head, as if to rid it of the images her answer had implied, and then lowered his brow, his expression one of poorly masked concern. "Look, Beckett… if you want, you and Castle can go home, take the day off. Ryan and I've got this one."

Beckett raised an eyebrow and exchanged a curious look with Castle. "What is it, Esposito?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at her friend.

"Yeah," Castle chimed in. "Not that I don't love your offer, but we've already made the trek down here. Might as well take a look and see what's up."

Esposito shook his head. "I'm not so sure, bro."

Beckett scoffed, and rolled her eyes. "If this is about the murder being in an alley during winter, you're sensitivity has been duly noted," she reached out and gave his arm a pat, letting him know she appreciated it. "But I'm fine. It's not like I haven't worked a crime scene in an alley before." With that said, she signaled to Castle, and headed off in search of Lanie and the body.

"True," Esposito relented, taking up flank on her right side. "But not like this one."

She glanced at him with a confused expression, unsure what he meant by that. Kate had a lot of crime scene experience. There was very little that could surprise or shock her. Sometimes, the depth of human depravity still made her sick to her stomach, but most of the time she could handle herself. Plus, it was easier to deal with when she had Castle by her side, not that she'd ever tell him that.

As they approach the body, Ryan looked up from his notepad, where he was making notes. "Hey, Javi, I think this one's going to—Whoa! Beckett? What are you doing here?"

"My job," she answered dryly, frowning. She wished she knew what was going on with the boys this morning.

Ryan exchanged a look with Esposito, before turning a questioning gaze back at Kate. "I thought you and Castle were taking the morning off to meet with the wedding planner?"

"Last minute cancelation," Castle quipped, letting out an exaggerated sigh of relief, and then elbowed Ryan with a conspiratorial wink. "Dodged a bullet there."

"Dispatch called, and I was available," Beckett answered, studiously ignoring her slacker of a fiancé. "Murder doesn't wait for anyone, even us." She turned and looked at Castle, narrowing her eyes. Really? For a man who had taken proposing very seriously, it was like pulling teeth to get him to actually sit down and plan their wedding. She had thought it would've been old hat to him, seeing as he'd done it two times before, but he just kept dragging his feet. At least they'd finally set a date and location.

They were going to marry on a Friday afternoon, on the beach in the Hamptons, on May 9th, 2014. Oddly enough, it had been Castle who had suggested the date, which was roughly around the second year anniversary of when they finally got together. He was always a romantic at heart, and she loved him all the more for it. So now that they had a date firmly marked, Kate really wanted to start nailing down some of the other details for their big day. But Castle's little joke wasn't too far off the mark. Jillian Jones, their wedding planner, was a highly aggravating woman, testing even Kate's patience at times. Sometimes Kate was under the impression that the woman thought she was planning her wedding and not someone else's.

"What's with you two?" Kate questioned, shaking her head as she glanced back and forth between the boys.

"Nothing," they chimed in unison, earning a raised eyebrow from Castle. Yep, something was definitely up. Ryan was the first to cave and gestured towards the body.

Beckett and Castle stepped forward as the crime scene photographer moved aside, revealing their first glimpse at the body. The moment her eyes landed on the posed corpse, Kate inhaled sharply and gripped Castle's arm, needing the support. He sucked in a deep breath, and reached out to steady her.

"Why the _hell_ didn't you warn us!?" Castle hissed accusatorily at the boys.

"Bro, we tried," Esposito defended.

Before them, sprawled across the debris and refuse from two trashcans that had toppled over, presumably during a struggle, was a dark-haired woman that bore an uncanny resemblance to Johanna Beckett. And it wasn't just her physical appearance that was remarkably similar, but the manner of dress, which was almost an exact match. Despite the horror of it, Kate couldn't take her eyes off the tableau. It was almost like she'd walked into a 3D rendering of the crime scene photos from her mother's case file.

"Kate?" Lanie's gentle voice pulled her attention away from the body. She jerked her head towards her friend, who was standing up from her kneeling position next to the body. "Oh sweetie, you okay?"

Beckett shook her head, shifting closer to Castle, needing the reassuring warmth of his presence to keep herself from falling apart. She scrunched up her face and flicked her eyes back down to the victim. "This… this can't be a coincidence. She _looks_ exactly like my mother."

"Maybe you shouldn't be here, sweetie," Lanie interjected. "Castle, hon, why don't you take her—?"

"I'm not going anywhere, Lanie!" Beckett snapped loudly, causing a muted silence to fall amongst their group. She screwed up her face and took a deep breath, willing her rapidly beating heart to relax. "I'm not going anywhere," she repeated, much calmer, yet with the same firm determination as before.

"Okay," Lanie raised her hands in surrender. "But don't say I didn't warn you."

"Do we have an ID yet?" Castle asked, glancing down at the victim, eyes searching for clues.

"Not on her," Ryan said, looking apologetic.

"I'll run her prints first thing when I get her downtown," Lanie announced, kneeling back down beside the body.

Beckett bobbed her head, using all her willpower to push down the rising tide of emotions that were threatening to drown her. She swallowed past a thick lump in her throat and averted her eyes away from her mother's likeness, focusing on Lanie instead.

"Cause of death?" She was proud of the fact that the crack in her voice was hardly noticeable, at least she hoped it was.

"Prelim… exsanguination, resulting from multiple stab wounds," Lanie answered, as emotionless as possible.

"Oh god," Kate gasped under her breath, stumbling back. She would have collapsed to the dirty concrete ground if it had not been for Castle holding her up. The similarities were just adding up. It was too much to hope that this was all just a coincidence.

"Robbery gone bad?" Castle questioned, thinking face on. _Bless him_, Kate thought, knowing he was trying his best to find an alternative theory than what was clearly running through everyone's minds.

"She had no cash or change in her pockets or handbag," Esposito answered. "So it's always a possibility, though I think that's unlikely."

"Why do you say that?"

Esposito gave Castle a look that said, _Really, Bro? You're seriously asking me that_? Castle shrugged his shoulders and turned to Kate, tentatively placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Kate, let's get out of here," Castle pleaded. "You don't need to see this."

"Castle's right, sweetie," Lanie agreed.

"Yeah, we've go this, Beckett," Esposito joined in. "Why don't you go back to the precinct."

Beckett just shook her head, heedless to their pleas. Flirting her eyes around the alleyway, she searched for a sign that this was just an awful mistake. But it was all for not. There was nothing that jumped out at her. No odd sock.

"Do you think it's _him_?" she asked, voice hushed and a little desperate as she clutched onto Castle for support. She didn't have to even name him. Everyone knew of whom she was talking about.

Castle knitted his eyebrows together in thought. "You think this is his way of sending you a message?"  
"A warning's more like it," Esposito grumbled, Ryan nodding his head in agreement.

"We should leave. _Now_," Castle hissed, eyes darting around frantically as his grip on her arm tightened.

She pushed away from him, and stood on wobbly legs for a moment before finding her balance. Her chest tightened, and her scar ached with the memory of the bullet. Moments of her life flashed before her eyes. None of them happy ones. She stepped away, turning her back to the scene, absently rubbing the spot on her chest to soothe the ache. Closing her eyes, she purposely ignored everything else around her for just a moment, taking in several deep breaths, calming her center.

Everyone was watching her with worried expressions, Castle the most obvious one. He looked torn between letting her be and wanting to help. She was grateful he let her stand on her own. Though she'd come to rely on him over the years, Beckett still valued her independence and inner strength, and sometimes she just needed to do things on her own. And this was one of those times.

Mentally and emotionally prepared, she turned back around to face the macabre scene. She wore her stoic mask, and utilized all the years of her training and job experience to play the role of detective, one which had suited her quite well for many years. She flicked her eyes between the boys, Castle, and Lanie.

"This woman had a name, she had a voice," she spoke firmly, her voice full of the authority of the badge on her hip. "It was silenced. Taken from her. Stolen. We're going to return it."


	3. Chapter 3

**Dark of Winter – Chapter 3**

Kate sat alone on the edge of her desk, hands in her lap, staring numbly at the blank white board sitting in front of her. Despite getting it together at the crime scene, she was still struggling inside, far more than was evident from her stoic expression. And to think, her day had started off so well. Waking up after an extremely erotic and sensual dream to then immediately get the desired release from her fiancé—not just once, but twice—had been a wonderful way to start the morning. She'd been happy when they'd left the loft that chilly morning, bundled up in their winter coats and scarfs. Now her mood was dulled and dimmed by the horror of what had awaited them in that alley.

All she could think about was the crime scene and how eerily similar it had been to her mother's. Once she'd seen the victim, murdered in much the same way as her mother, Kate's first thought had been that it was a warning from Bracken. But the more she thought about it, the less sense that made. She hadn't touched her mother's case in months. Her life no longer resolved around that quest for justice. Or was it revenge she'd been after? Either way, she'd been busy with other things in her life, so this sudden reminder of Johanna Beckett's death was like a sucker punch to the gut.

Still, she had managed to pull it together, and looked at it with a clinical and logical mind, knowing that despite the similarities, the victim was still someone's daughter, sister, wife, or even mother. Kate Beckett stood for the victims. She brought them justice and gave them a voice. She would do the same for this poor woman… for anyone, really, who'd been so savagely robbed of their life.

After finishing up at the crime scene, Beckett had returned to the precinct with Castle, intent on prepping for the investigation that would commence in earnest once Ryan and Esposito got back from canvassing the surrounding area with some uniforms, searching for any witnesses or evidence that might have gotten missed earlier. It was a long shot, but one that had to be done. As the boys did that, Kate opted to get a head start on putting together the murder board while she waited for Lanie to get back to her on an I.D. for the victim.

Knowing she needed some time alone to process everything before they began putting up the information on the board, Castle had given her hand a brief supportive squeeze and then disappeared into the break room to make them both a cup of coffee.

Blinking her eyes slowly, Kate shook her head, and roughly brushed her hair back from her face, silently berating herself for getting lost in her thoughts. She needed to focus on the case, not the past. Dwelling on the past had been one of the things that had forestalled her future with Castle, and there was no way in hell she was going to fall back into that pattern. Not now. Not after everything they'd finally achieved and were planning to do together. She had a life to look forward to now, and there wasn't anything that would deter her from the path.

Kate pushed up off the edge of her desk, and walked around to her computer. Accessing the NYPD shared network, she opened the linked folders to the crime scene unit's photos, and quickly scanned through the files, selecting a wide-shot and close-up of the crime scene, along with a single headshot of the victim. It was still difficult to look at the pale face. Despite some minute differences, the woman was an exact match for Johanna Beckett.

Pulling back from her desk, Kate stalked over to the printer and waited for the photos to print out. Crossing her arms, she tapped her foot impatiently, eager to get to work on assembling the murder board.

She was just putting up the headshot of their victim, and writing 'Jane Doe' in large block letters under it, when Castle returned with two mugs of hot coffee. Kate stepped back from the board, capping the marker. She put it down as Castle approached, a reassuring smile on his face as he offered her the large blue mug. Kate accepted the mug with a grateful smile and cradled it in her palms. It was always the little things that made her smile. She glanced down, noticing the milk foam shaped heart he'd made in her coffee.

"Thank you," she murmured quietly, flashing him a look of utter love and appreciation, before raising the cup to her lips and taking a long deep sip of the dark brew, humming in approval of his exquisite skill with the espresso machine he'd bought all those years ago.

"Took me three tries to get it just right," Castle commented, reciprocating her smile as he eased down onto the edge of her desk, his eyes never leaving her. "Pity the effect is wasted the moment you take your first sip."

"It's not, Castle," Kate assured him with a warm smile, so grateful for him and the many ways he could distract her from the more depressing aspects of her job. "It lasts longer than you may think." She reached out and grabbed his hand, giving it a tight reassuring squeeze. She swept her thumb up and down his knuckles on a brief caress before pulling her hand back. Gates may be more tolerant of Castle's involvement on casework now, but they still needed to maintain a professional decorum when at the precinct, least less tolerant and understanding eyes see.

Castle pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows. "Good to know," he said with a twinkle in his eye as he brought his mug up for quick sip. "So, how's it going?" He turned his attention back to the murder board, easily flowing from one topic to the next.

"Slow," Beckett asserted, carefully putting her mug down on her desk before returning to the white board. She crossed her arms as she stared hard at the glaring lack of information. "We're still waiting on an I.D. on our Jane Doe. Lanie texted not long ago saying that she put a rush on the fingerprints, but it'll take some time. CSU is swamped with all the physical evidence."

"Espo and Ryan still canvassing the scene?" Castle asked, taking another sip of his coffee as he examined the incomplete board.

"Yeah," she bobbed her head, reaching for her mug, needing another intake of caffeine.

"Need some help or am I just in the way?" he asked, cocking his head to give her a questioning look.

Beckett pursed her lips and frowned. "Castle," she sighed, shaking her head. "You're never in the way. And contrary to what I sometimes say, you're a great help. Especially with cases like this one."

"I'm the plucky comic relief, is that it?" Castle joked, providing her with a playful waggle of his eyebrows.

She couldn't hold back the grin, and nodded. "Yes, but you're more than that, Castle. So much more. Don't sell yourself short." Beckett sighed and slumped down onto the edge of the desk beside him. "I dislike inflating your already massive ego, but sometimes, especially on cases like this, I really need you to help keep me grounded and sane." She inhaled a quick breath and put her mug down behind on her desk. "You're my rock, Castle. My anchor during the storm. I need you to keep me tethered to reality, and keep me away from the rabbit hole."

Castle's eyes softened as he gazed at her. "That I can do," he asserted, confident and firm in his belief, voice warm and tender.

Kate let her eyes drink in the sight of him, so supportive and loving, willing to do whatever it took to help her in whatever she needed help with. She honestly didn't know what she'd do without him. Kate couldn't fathom a life without him in it. It almost frightened her to even think of such a thing. She flicked her eyes up to his, and Castle stared back. They stayed like that for a moment, simply gazing into one another's eyes, and at that moment Kate believed she understood why some people said that the eyes were windows to the soul. When she looked into Castle's eyes, she saw so much, more than just his love and devotion to her. She saw him.

The buzz of her cell phone interrupted the moment, and Kate sighed, leaning back to dig her cell out of her pocket. "Beckett," she answered in her standard curt manner.

"_Girl, I think you and Castle better come down here_," came Lanie's anxious voice. "_You've really got to see this_."

"We'll be right there," Beckett replied, hanging up and looked back at Castle. He raised his eyebrow in question. "Lanie's got something for us."

XXX

Visiting the morgue in her current emotional state was more problematic than she had anticipated. The moment she stepped through the doors and saw the corpse lying on the autopsy table on the other side of the room, she froze. It was like seeing her mother lying there, pale and lifeless. Kate had to take several shaky breaths to remind herself that the woman lying there wasn't her mother, but some other unfortunate soul whose life had been robbed. Castle came up behind her, gently sweeping a hand down her back to comfort her, letting it rest on the small of her back. She closed her eyes, and briefly eased back into his touch, gaining must needed strength from his support.

When her eyes open, Beckett was back in detective mode. She kept her eyes averted from the body on the slab and marched over to Lanie, who was preoccupied with some files she was reviewing.

"Lanie," she called out. "You said you had something for us?"

The M.E. glanced up, startled by their appearance. "Wow, you were fast."

"It sounded important," Beckett explained.

"It is, yes," Lanie turned and stepped over to the body. "Prints still haven't come back, but I can tell you this… she didn't die from exsanguination, like I'd originally thought."

"So she wasn't stabbed to death like my mother?" Beckett questioned, pleasantly pleased with the firmness of her voice. Castle shifted uneasily beside her.

"No, she wasn't," Lanie confirmed. "Upon closer examination of the stab wounds, I'd say they were postmortem." She moved to the head of the autopsy table and gently reached down with her gloved hands, pulling back the woman's dark hair, exposing her neck. Lanie gestured to the dark splotches marring the pale skin. "You see these bruises?"

Kate and Castle nodded.

"They were caused by a rope."

"_Rope_?" Castle hooted, his eyebrows shooting up in alarm. Kate swallowed hard, glancing anxiously over at him. She could literally see the wheels begin to turn inside his head. "Are you saying she was _strangled_ with _rope_?" he asked slowly, accentuating each word.

"Yes."

"Can you tell what kind?" he hissed out, stalking around the autopsy table to get a better view of the bruising pattern along the victim's neck.

The ME let out a long sigh before answering. "Three-strand twisted quarter inch," Lanie supplied quietly. She paused, the moment feeling with an ominous sort of dread. "I found some fibers."

"Let me guess, green and white nylon," Castle asserted, face pinching up with apprehension.

Lanie gave an affirmative nod, unable to respond verbally.

"Dear God," Castle inhaled a shaky breath, scrubbing a hand down his face as he turned back to Kate. "We had it all wrong, Kate. This wasn't a warning from Bracken."

Beckett shook her head in disbelief, not yet ready to follow Castle's statement to its logical conclusion. Out of all the twisted things to happen today, she was unwilling to accept this. She would have preferred it to be Bracken to _him_. "No… it can't be. He's dead, Castle."

"We've had this conversation before, Kate," Castle growled, brows lowering. "You still refuse to believe."

"And I was right," she hissed out, voice low and slightly unhinged. "It wasn't him. It was Kelly Niemann."

"Damn it, Kate, it's his M.O.!"

"Castle…"

"The case files may be missing, but the details are still here," he jabbed a finger against his temple. "I remember them, just as you do. You know I'm right. Stop denying it."

"Lanie?" Kate shifted towards her friend, searching for an ally and an alternative answer to the striking similarities.

"I'm sorry, sweetie, but your boy's right," she said. "The M.O. is a match."

"But he's dead!" Kate asserted, turning to Castle. "You shot him, multiple times at point blank range."

"I know, I was there," Castle nearly yelled, but managed to keep his voice low enough so that they didn't draw any undo attention from the other morgue technicians going about their duties. "But you're forgetting Tyson's a master of deception.

"The strangulation may fit his MO, but the postmortem stabbing does not," Kate pointed out, still keeping her eyes averted from the body, even as she gestured to it with her hand.

"Which makes him even more dangerous," Castle went on, ignoring her statement. "He's proven before that he's willing to change his MO to play mind games with us, or have you already forgotten how he tried to frame me for murder."

"What!? God, Castle. No, of course I haven't forgotten!" Kate gasped, stunned by his accusation and the hint of bitterness in his tone. Apparently there were still some unresolved feelings surrounding that incident. She made a mental note to deal with that later. Right now, she needed to focus on the new details emerging about their current case.

"You can keep telling yourself that it was all just Dr. Niemann 'protecting' his legacy," Castle continued, all but sneering at her, "but you can't ignore the fact that it had all the hallmarks of 3XK written all over it. Disciples don't act without orders from their master."

"I don't deny that there are similarities, but that's all they are… _similarities_," Kate said, attempting to keep her voice calm and collected despite the tumult of emotions running through her. "Please, Castle, don't let yourself get lost in this obsession," she pleaded, ignoring their audience as she reached out to grab his arms. "Believe me, it's not worth it. It's a dark and lonely place. Don't let your imagination get the best of you when there's still no evidence to support it."

"Telling a writer to ignore his imagination is like telling a fish he can't swim," Castle retorted, brushing her hands away. "Just for once, would it kill you to admit you may be wrong? You've done it before. Why can't you do it now?"

She remained silent, voice clogged in her throat as she searched for an answer, yet was unable to find one in time to satisfy Castle. He narrowed his eyes.

"Unbelievable," he huffed, scrubbing his hand down his face. He paced back and forth, shaking his head in frustration and disbelief. "And here I thought we'd gotten better at communicating."

"We have," Kate insisted, unwilling to break eye contact with him. "Look, Castle, just because we disagree about something, doesn't mean our relationship is doomed."

"I know," he growled. "It would just be nice if my fiancée would believe in me."

"I do," Kate said, clutching his hand. "I do, Castle. I believe in you. I just don't think it's Jerry Tyson."

"And what if you're wrong?" Castle asked, narrowing his eyes.

"I'll be the first to admit it," she asserted, hoping and praying she was telling the truth. He looked unconvinced, knowing how stubborn she could be, and she didn't blame him.

"Before you two get any further in this rather entertaining lover's spat… there's more," Lanie spoke up, looking reluctant to interrupt them. "And I think it might resolve some of your… _issues_. At least where it concerns this case. As for the rest, well that's your business, though I do have some suggestions to relieve all that pent up stress…"

"Lanie… please, not now," Kate sighed, holding up a hand to forestall her friend's unsolicited relationship advice. She pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes, feeling the beginnings of a headache forming.

She had long since run out of steam and was in no mood to argue with Castle. It was yet another thing she'd have to deal with later. So much seemed to be piling up, it was beginning to seem all so daunting. And despite her friend's unsought advice, Kate may just follow it. If there was anything Castle and her were good at, it was ignoring their issues and just fucking it out. It was a tried and true method of delay, one that they'd used quite often. Besides, after today, Kate could certainly do with a good fuck to forget her worries.

Relenting, Lanie stepped over to a tray stand that stood beside the autopsy table. The tray was littered with the personal effects of the victim, from earrings and silver necklace to shoes and socks. "When I was removing her clothing I found this tape recorder tucked into the inside pocket of her blazer."

"Oh God," Kate choked on her words, bringing a hand up to her mouth, her eyes beginning to water as memories flashed through her mind. "That looks exactly like the kind of tape recorder my mom used when working on a case."

Castle knitted his eyebrows together and stepped over to join them by the tray stand. He was still disgruntled and upset, but stood beside Kate nonetheless. Despite any personal conflicts, she could always rely on him to have her back. "Is there anything on it?"

Lanie bobbed her head, pressing the play button. Kate pursed her lips and listened as a familiar melody began to blare out of the tiny speakers, followed by the now haunting lyrics:

"_We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when. __But I know we'll meet again some sunny day._"


	4. Chapter 4

**Dark of Winter – Chapter 4**

It was quiet in the bullpen, save for the soft murmur of voices and the click-clack of typing. Only a handful of detectives were at their desks, doing paperwork or research for a case during the lunch hour. Kate Beckett was amongst them, though unlike her colleagues, she wasn't attempting to hastily eat a cheap sandwich and work at the same time.

Nope.

She sat at her desk, narrowing her eyes as she stared at the computer monitor, going through Lanie's full autopsy report. Her friend had e-mailed it not long after she and Castle had departed the OCME. At present, Beckett was combing through the details in Lanie's report, trying to find something that would disprove her fiancé's belief that Jerry Tyson and/or Dr. Kelly Niemann had been involved in the woman's death. He'd become much more insistent after Lanie had shown them the tape recorder with that damn song on it.

Groaning in frustration, Beckett hung her head for a moment and rubbed the back of her neck. She closed her eyes, giving them a rest. She'd gone over Lanie's report at least half a dozen times since she got it and nothing really jumped out at her. The stab wounds were definitely postmortem, suggesting that the grim tableau had been staged. To be honest, she really didn't need an autopsy report to tell her that. It was clear the moment she arrived on scene that it had been staged. It was obvious that someone was trying to send a message to her… _to them_.

The question was… who?

Beckett still didn't want to believe it was Jerry Tyson or his girlfriend/groupie/disciple—whatever the hell she was—Kelly Niemann. But it was hard to refute the rope patterns and trace evidence left behind, confirming that the rope used to strangle the poor woman had been a green and white nylon rope. And, much to her chagrin, Castle's assertion that the grizzly staged scene did match Tyson's need to play macabre mind games was right on point for the psychopath, both as 3XK and as the man out to frame Rick Castle for murder.

Maybe she just didn't want to believe it.

Tyson had been a thorn in their side since that day he first escaped after knocking Ryan out and tying Castle up. His second intrusion into their lives had been a test for her, seeing just how much she believed in the man she loved. Beckett had pondered on occasion whether Tyson had wanted her to believe the false evidence or if his intent had always been for her to know it was a frame, making her suffer from the sidelines, unable to protect the man she loved from being wrongfully convicted of a crime he didn't commit.

The scene from the bridge still played over and over in her mind. Tyson was resilient. She'd give him that. She'd thought she had taken him out when he had suddenly sprang back up and grabbed her, holding her at gunpoint as he taunted Castle.

_ "Hey, Castle! I got your girl!"_

It had been a game to Tyson. A sick, twisted game. He'd fixated on Castle, blaming the author for blowing his masterfully crafted exit plan back in 2010, pinning all his murders on a patsy. But Tyson had still gotten away. He could have stayed away. But instead, he came back to torment them. It appeared that the killer held a grudge, and Castle was the intended target of his wrath.

Beckett had been so sure that Jerry Tyson was dead when Castle had fired those shots that had saved her life. But then, a year later, enter Dr. Kelly Niemann. Her motives weren't entirely clear without her ties to Tyson. Beckett had trouble seeing what would attract a woman like Niemann to a psychopathic killer Tyson. Maybe it was the fact they were both perfectionist, and highly intelligent. Whatever it was, Niemann had become part of Tyson's circle. She was either acting independently or taking orders. Either way, she was still dangerous, and her ominous threat, implied by the song she left behind, still gave Beckett the chills.

"Yo, Beckett, what are you still doing here?" Esposito's question snapped her out of her thoughts.

She glanced up, seeing the boys arriving back from their lunch break. Knitting her eyebrows together, Beckett leaned back in her chair and gestured towards the unfinished murder board.

"Still waiting for the fingerprint techs to I.D. our victim," she said.

"Might take a while. Buddy of mine in forensics said they're short-staffed today," Ryan said as he dumped his coat onto the back of his chair. Beckett noticed that he held two large burritos wrapped in tinfoil.

As Ryan moved around his desk, heading for the break room to deposit the burritos in the refrigerator, Beckett caught a whiff of the enticing aroma lingering behind him as he went, and her stomach growled. "You guys went to Juan's?" she asked, eyeing the wrapped burritos hungrily.

"Hey, no, no!" Ryan objected, glancing at her cautiously. "Javi and I got these are for later." It was a habit the two partners had when working a challenging case. They'd always buy an extra helping from wherever they went out for lunch just in case they'd end up stuck at work longer than had been anticipated when they had left home in the morning.

"I'd only need half," she negotiated, feeling her mouth starting to salivate. Beckett hadn't realized just how hungry she was until this very moment. What with rushing out early to the crime scene, and her morning activities with Castle, she hadn't really eaten anything at all today.

"Whoa," Esposito chimed in, coming to his partner's rescue before Beckett could pounce him and snatch a burrito from his hands. "Where's Castle?"

She stiffened, and averted her eyes. "Out."

Esposito gave her a look. "Okay, what happened?"

Beckett sighed and stared back at him. "Okay, we had a… disagreement."

"About?"

"Our victim," she stood up and gestured towards the murder board. She went on to inform them of Lanie's findings, and including the tape recorder and the song.

"Shit," Esposito mumbled, stepping back and frowning.

"Yeah," Beckett nodded, furrowing her brow as she glanced up at the board. "Castle's got it into his head that this is some message from Jerry Tyson."

"3XK?"

She bobbed her head. "Castle's convinced Tyson is still alive," she informed the boys. She hesitated for a brief second as she considered telling them about Castle's near obsession with anything related to Tyson. 3XK was for him what her mother's murder was for her. But she held her tongue, not willing to share the burden of keeping Castle away from that particular rabbit hole. She wanted to do for Castle what he'd done for her.

"And you? Ryan questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm… skeptical," she reluctantly admitted. She hated it when she and Castle were at odds, more so now that they were engaged. "Whatever her motives were for stealing the 3XK case files, Dr. Niemann is a more viable suspect that Jerry Tyson. Not that I'm saying it's her. There could be a number of explanations for the similarities."

"Didn't Castle always say that there is no such thing as a coincidence?" Ryan asked.

"Come on, Ryan," she harrumphed. "You know better. We've worked enough cases over the years to know that that's not true. Coincidences do happen. All because there are some similarities to Tyson's M.O. doesn't mean it's him or Niemann."

"It still could be her," Esposito hedged. "It fits more than… _you know_."

"Yeah, I know," Beckett sighed in agreement, knowing that this being a message from Bracken was a long shot, though she might have preferred it if it was. Though her mother's case was important to her, she'd learned not to let it run her life. However, there was still something about this case that felt… intensely personal. And it had nothing to do with the woman's resemblance to her mother.

"You think she's trying to follow in Tyson's footsteps?" Esposito continued. "The disciple trying to become the master?"

"Maybe that song's supposed to be her signature or something," Ryan piped in with a shrug, still cradling the two large burritos in his hands.

"Yeah, maybe," Beckett hastily agreed, wanting to brush past it. She had other ideas as to the meaning behind the song, and it had nothing to do with being a serial killer's signature.

"Well, I better put these in the refrigerator," Ryan said, quickly darting away for the break room before Beckett could grab one of the burritos.

Esposito stood beside her, watching her with knowing eyes as she stared up at the murder board. "You okay, Beckett?"

"Yeah, fine," she grunted out, turning back to her desk to take a chair.

Esposito narrowed his eyes, and stepped over to stand by the edge of her desk. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared her down. "Where's Castle?"

"He went out for lunch," she replied, trying to look busy, and failing.

"And how long ago was that?"

Beckett sighed, realizing that he wasn't going to give up. She glanced up at the digital clock on the screen. "Thirty minutes ago," she answered.

"Why didn't you go with him?" her colleague asked, giving her a stern look. "Was there something more to this disagreement than you're letting on?"

"No," she gave him an affronted look, eyes wide, and mouth agape in shock at his insinuation. He was right on the mark, of course, but she wasn't going to tell him that. "Just… this case… it's getting to him."

"What about you?"

"I'm fine."

"Kate…"

"Don't," she raised a hand, and glared at him. "Don't try and handle me, Espo. I know what I'm doing." She gestured to the picture of their victim, breathing sharply through her nose. "She's _not_ my mother. She may look like her, but she's not."

"Doesn't mean the emotional impact isn't the same," Esposito continued undeterred. "The similarities alone with the setting and method are enough to cloud your judgment. And that's not even considering the possible links with Tyson and Niemann."

"Are you telling me I should sit this one out?" she growled, growing more frustrated with this conversation and the man pushing it.

"Perhaps," Esposito concurred with a nod. "I'm sure Gates would agree if we asked her."

Beckett's mouth dropped in shock and she stared at him, stunned, almost feeling betrayed that Esposito would go over her head to Gates. He'd always been in her corner. When Ryan and Castle questioned her judgment regarding Maddox, which in retrospect was wise, Esposito had remained loyal, going after the sniper with her, albeit highly unsuccessfully. The consequences of that day were still reverberating around her. Not only had her brush with death forced her to confront her true feelings and hopes of being with the man she loved, it had opened up pathways to the source of all her heartache, casting a light on the man responsible for everything—Senator William H. Bracken.

"You wouldn't!?"

"I would," Esposito asserted, his voice firm and unflinching. He sighed and sat on the edge of her desk, leaning forward and lowering his voice, his eyes softening. "Look, I get it, Beckett. I do. But you're running yourself pretty ragged."

"I—"

"When was the last time you ate?" he asked, interrupting her objections.

She hesitated before answering, knowing it would only further reinforce his position. "Last night," she grudgingly admitted.

"Hey, I'm not telling you to sit on the sidelines," he said, trying to ease her into the idea. "I know I can't prevent you from investigating. Hell, no one can. Not even your boy Castle. But take a break. Go get something to eat. Relax for a while." He paused for a beat. "Everything will still be here when you get back. And maybe, if you're lucky, we'll even have the fingerprints by then."

Beckett sighed, and reluctantly nodded, conceding to his suggestion. "I am pretty hungry," she said, answering the call of her growling stomach.

Esposito smirked.

Standing up, she grabbed her coat, slinging it up over her shoulders. "I'll be back in an hour," she said, but amended that to two hours when Esposito gave her a stern, disapproving look. Tugging her coat tightly around her slim frame, Beckett stepped away from her desk and stalked across to the elevator. She hit the button and waited for the doors to open.

She was starving, and knew she needed to eat, if just for the energy she'd need to continue investigating. Whoever this woman was, she had had her life wickedly stolen from her, and Beckett was decidedly intent on seeing that justice was done, no matter what. But first, she needed to mend some fences with her fiancé. Castle may not have said much before departing for lunch, but she knew he'd been deeply upset and hurt that she hadn't been more willing to believe him. She had to make things right. They still loved one another. But that didn't mean they always had to agree. If they did, life would be boring.

The elevator chimed, and the doors opened with a rattle. Bucking up her courage, Beckett stepped across the threshold and hit the button for the lobby. She decided to think positively. This day had started off with such promise, only to have that promise swept away. All things considered, it could have been worse.


	5. Chapter 5

**Dark of Winter – Chapter 5**

She stood in the corridor outside the front door, keys in hand at the ready. All Kate needed to do was insert the key into the keyhole and turn. Instead, she just stood there, frozen in place. It was the first place she had thought to check, the only place that made any reasonable sense to her. She knew him. And when Castle was upset and defensive he would retreat into his sanctuary, which for him was his home.

But now that she was there, Kate found herself stalling. Why? She couldn't rightly say. Perhaps she was afraid. Of what? Conflict, no doubt. She hated it when they argued. All they're arguments always seemed to end with one or the other walking away. So, yes, she was afraid.

No.

That was an excuse. Fear was an excuse.

Castle loved her. And she loved him. There was nothing more important than that. There was nothing to worry about. Their disagreement back at the precinct about the potential involvement of Jerry Tyson or Kelly Niemann was a little thing—minor—in the grand scheme of the universe. That argument was nothing in comparison to the ones they'd had in the past, the ones that had almost broke them. It wasn't the end. No. Their love was strong enough to weather whatever storm would come. Of that she was certain.

Pursing her lips in determination, Kate stuck the key in the hole, and turned the lock. She swung the door open and marched across the threshold with confidence and purpose. She belonged there. The loft was just as much her home as it was Castle's. Enough of her things had migrated over once they finally dived into a relationship together, more so now that they were engaged. Now that she thought about, Kate wasn't at all sure when she had last stepped foot in her apartment. Perhaps it was time to completely cut ties with her old life and embrace her new life… the one with Castle.

Closing the door, she pulled off her coat and tossed it over the back of the couch and dropped her bag onto the cushions. Her eyes zeroed in on her quarry. Apparently he was oblivious to the predator that was now stalking him, or he was just pretending not to notice her. Avoidance, she'd learned over the years, was one of the many ways he coped with things that troubled him.

He was puttering around the kitchen, setting out the fixings for a famous Castle sandwich special. Kate's famished stomach betrayed her, growling loudly and alerting him to her presence. If he hadn't been aware before, he most certainly was now.

Castle glanced up, his eyes drawn immediately to hers. It was automatic, magnetic… to be. Kate swallowed, suddenly all her boldness and certain swept away by the intensity of his gaze. She bit her lower lip and ducked her head shyly, toeing off her heels and padding across the living room to join him in the kitchen. He watched her silently as she took a seat at the bar, folding her hands down in front of her on the countertop.

They stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity. The longer the silence lasted, the more awkward and uncomfortable it felt between them. It wasn't supposed to be like that. Not with them. One of them had to make the first move. And try as she might, Kate couldn't bring herself to actually do it. She'd managed to get herself to the loft—to him—but when the moment arrived… she froze. Kate cursed inwardly at her inability to bring form to her thoughts. Words had always been his strong suit, not hers.

Castle cleared his throat, and gave a brief nod of his head as he averted his eyes for a second. "Would you like a sandwich?" he asked, breaking the tension.

"Yes, please, that would be great," Kate replied, giving him a grateful smile. Whenever she'd get absorbed and would ignore lunch, simply munching on a candy bar from the vending machine to appease her stomach, Castle would see to it that she had a proper meal… even if it was still technically junk food. More filling, then, would probably be the more proper word usage. Either way, it was proof of just how much he cared, that he noticed the little things.

Castle flashed her a quick grin, before moving around the kitchen to grab some more bread. And just like that, the awkwardness faded away. Kate sat back and watched the show. Castle was a man who could cook. And even when it was something as simple as a sandwich, it was always a joy tow watch him prepare it. He didn't even need to ask her preference on condiments or what cheese she'd like… he already knew. He worked methodically and theatrically—he was his mother's son, after all. He'd always been a showman at heart, even if he did most of his work with words.

"Gates kick you out?" Castle asked with a raised eyebrow, making conversation, but was unable to fully conceal his genuine curiosity as to her appearance. No doubt he had assumed she'd spend the whole lunch hour parked at her desk, buried in forensic and autopsy reports.

"No," she answered softly. "It was Esposito. He said I needed to take a break and refuel."

Castle gave a bob of his head, briefly glancing up at her before he turned around and opened the refrigerator, taking out deli-style sliced ham. Kate eyes drank up the sight of him, being all domestic, making her a sandwich. It was almost baffling. Here was her favorite mystery novelist making her —_her_ of all people—a sandwich. It was like something out of a dream. But life with Rick Castle was like that. He was a man that lived to dream, and if he was to be believed, his dreams did come true—which, considering most of them were probably of the X-rated variety, and involved her… then yes, his dreams probably did come true. But it was more to it than that.

Last year, she'd caught a glimpse of his bucket list, and she had seen what he'd longed for the most. _Be with Kate_ may have been number one, but the last was the most telling and most meaningful: _Get married, and make it last_. Here was a man who'd had two failed marriages, had sworn off the institution, yet there was still some part of him that believed, wished, and hoped to find someone worth making that jump with. Kate could only hope she lived up to such aspirations. She, herself, believed in the ideal of 'one and done'.

Castle's muscles flexed beneath his button-down as he chopped up the red onions and carrots. Kate watched with heated eyes, having no trouble imagining seeing those muscles ripple _sans_ clothing. She wet her lips with a quick flick of her tongue as she stared at him, feeling every beat of her heat reverberate through the confines of her chest cavity. She loved this man… so much, with such a depth she'd never believe herself capable of until he came along. Kate would forever be grateful to the universe for bringing them together.

"I respect the universe," she murmured, echoing a sentiment he'd said a long time ago.

"Huh?" Castle jerked his head up, his brow furrowing in confusion.

She glanced up at him with a small smile. "The one case where you kept showing up at the crime scenes," she reminded him. "You told me that it was a sign from the universe telling us that we needed to solve it together."

"Oh," he chuckled and bobbed his head, returning to his task. "Yes, I remember." A faraway look glazed over his eyes for a moment.

"You told me I should respect the universe," she paused, waiting for him to look back up at her. He raised his eyebrows for her to continue. "And I do."

Castle knitted his eyebrows together as he contemplated what she'd said. He soon finished chopping up the red onions and carrots, quickly depositing them on top of his deli-style creation. Taking the knife, he then cut the product of his labors in half. Fishing out a bag of chips, he rounded the countertop and joined her at the barstools. Placing one plate in front of her, Castle sat down next to her, breaking open the bag of chips and putting it between them on the countertop.

"Is this your way of apologizing?" he asked, taking a bite of his sandwich, and licking some mayonnaise off his thumb.

Kate carefully picked up her sandwich and hummed. "In a roundabout way, I guess," she confirmed. She glanced at him with large sorrowful eyes. "I hate it when we fight. I really do. It… I don't know… it almost physically hurts to be in disagreement with you."

"I feel the same," Castle agreed, tilting his torso to face her. "I never like it when we're at odds, but you do see my point, don't you? That it could be Tyson. I'm even willing to compromise and concede that it might not even be him, but Niemann instead. I don't know exactly _what_ they were to each other, but she was definitely a disciple, a follower."

"Definitely," Kate nodded, giving him a tight smile of appreciation for being the first to reach out to find common ground. "And I'll admit that your theories have merit. I may not wish or want to believe it to be Tyson, but I could be wrong. I'm not infallible. I've made mistakes before… some more glaring than others."

"Look, Kate, I'd be more than happy to be proven wrong in this case," Castle said, reassuringly. "I'm terrified of the idea of Tyson being out there. I'm not afraid to admit that it scares the shit out of me."

"Me too," she swallowed. "Me too. So much, Castle. So very much. I think that's why I was so resistant in accepting the possibility. Sometimes I think I'm more afraid of Tyson than of Bracken."

Castle gave her a startled, puzzled look. "What?"

"With Bracken I know what I get," she explained. "Tyson's unpredictable. He broke away from his documented M.O. to come after you. And that scares me, Castle. It scares me so much. I can't lose you. He came so close… so close to taking you away from me, and I… I can't have that." Kate now believed she understood how Castle felt those two times he came to her apartment to talk her down of the ledge and convince her to step away. She hadn't been willing to listen then, but now she at least understood his point of view better than before. "We fought too long, and struggled too much to get to this point. I'm not giving it up. I'm not giving _you_ up. You're mine. And I intend to keep you for as long as I live."

"Kate," Castle tilted his body towards hers, bring a hand up to caress the side of her face as she closed her eyes, willing away the swell of tears. One managed to trickle out, but Castle brushed it away with his thumb. "You have me. I'm yours." He turned his head and pressed a gentle kiss to her temple, and Kate let out a shaky breath of relief.

His hand ran up and down her back in a soothing pattern. She flashed him a small grateful smile, and wiped at her eyes, slightly embarrassed for getting so emotional. But she wasn't ashamed. Far from it. It made her proud that she could get so emotional in front of him, and show him just how much she loved and needed him.

They stared at each other for a moment, before returning to their lunch. Kate took a big bite, and closed her eyes, humming with rich approval at all the flavors and textures at war in her mouth. Castle watched her with barely contain delight, marveling at her enjoyment of eating the sandwich he'd prepared. Opening her eyes, she smiled at him, her eyes sparkling.

"Delicious, as always, Rick," she complimented. "No one makes a better sandwich than you."

"Ah, you're just saying that to get on my good side," he chuckled.

"Is it working?" she questioned with an amused smirk.

"Maybe." He winked at her.

Kate grinned and bumped shoulders with him, before diving back in and eating with relish. She was really starving and it did her good to just take a break from everything and enjoy a meal with the man she loved. As she watched him chew on his food, Kate couldn't help but sigh inwardly in relief. Her earlier worries had been exaggerated. The disagreement had been a minor one, and it hadn't really disrupted their connection, as she'd feared.

Finishing her sandwich, Kate pushed her plate back and glanced over at him. "So… we're good?" she asked, a little cautiously, unsure if she really should.

"Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't we be?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow in confusion as he took one last bite out of his sandwich. He smacked his lips as he finished it off and looked at her questioningly.

"Well… You… um…," Kate stammered for a moment as she search for an explanation. "You just didn't seem so sure about us back in the morgue." She paused and swallowed past a sudden lump in her throat. "You said we weren't really improving with our communicating."

"Yeah, I did say something like that, didn't I?" Castle mused. Kate hummed in confirmation. He looked at her and smiled softly. "Sorry, Kate. I was wrong. I mean… look at us. We're actually sitting here and talking things out, not ignoring it like we would a year ago. I… I was so frustrated that you wouldn't even admit to the possibility of it being Tyson."

"I know. And I'm sorry. I was being pigheaded and stubborn—"

"No you wer—" he began to interject.

"Yes, I was. Don't placate me, Castle," Kate admonished, giving him a little glare. "I'm actually admitting to it, so you shouldn't let this opportunity slip by so easily. You don't know when it will come again. So bask in your triumph, funny man."

"Okay. Good point," he agreed, smirking at her, that twinkle in his eye she loved so much shining brightly.

"Anyways," she continued, knitting her eyebrows together. "I want you to know that I'll try my best to keep an open mind and listen to your crazy theories."

"Missed me that much, did you?"

Kate allowed him a brief glimpse of a smile. "What can I say? I've gotten used to having you around."

"And I've gotten used to _being_ around _you_," he waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

She chuckled and bit her lower lip, ducking her head down almost shyly as she glanced at him from under her eyelashes. He stared at her for a long moment, and Kate basked in the love she could see reflecting out of his gaze. She swore to herself that she would never take his love for granted. She'd made that mistake once, but not again. Never again. It was something to cherish and keep close, just like the man offering it.

"Oh, you got something there…," Castle murmured, raising a hand to cup her jaw. She stilled, furrowing her brow in confusion. His thumb swiped across her bottom lip in a move that was both intimate and sensual. Pulling his hand back, Kate spotted a smidge of mayonnaise on his digit. She watched with darkening eyes as he sucked it off his thumb.

He smirked and waggled his eyebrows at her again. _Smug bastard_, she thought. He knew exactly what he was doing to her.

Before she could formulate a witty comeback, Castle was cupping her jaw in his palm again and pressing his lips against hers in a soft and languid kiss. She sighed, letting out a little moan, easing into him as he slid off his stool and nudged her legs apart. His hands rubbed up and down her legs as he stepped between them, slanting further into her as he deepened the kiss. Kate hummed in approval, her body coming alive with sensations. She raked her fingers through his hair, holding him close. Her heartbeat quickened, and she could feel the warmth of her arousal coursing through her veins, permeating her entire being.

"When are you expected back?" he asked, breaking away on a gasped breath to nibble along her jaw and neck as his hands skidded down her sides to grasp her hips.

Kate raised her arm and looked over his shoulder to glance at her wristwatch. "About an hour," she smirked, as he graced her with a smoldering gaze. _Great minds think alike_, she thought, knowing exactly what he had in mind.

"More than enough time for some hot make-up sex," he chuckled, diving back in to kiss her, hard and fast, nipping at her lips as she pushed back into him, wanting more.

Kate wrapped her legs around his waist, and tilted her hips just enough to feel the evidence of his desire for her brush against her center. She groaned into his mouth and hooked her arms around his neck, kissing him with a fierce and passionate need. Castle slipped his hands around her waist and grabbed her ass, hoisting her up off the stool. She went willingly, using her legs and arms to keep herself anchored to him.

"Couch," she suggested, nibbling at his earlobe. Castle nodded and carried her out of the kitchen on trembling legs. He wasn't a young stallion anymore, but he was still her stud.

They fell onto the cushions in a fit of giggles, kissing in-between the laughter. Kate squirmed under him as he adjusted himself above her. His hands were like magic, and he made quick work of her blouse, parting it open to expose her lacy bra. Castle grabbed one bra-covered breast and squeezed. He kissed her hard, thrusting his tongue into her mouth and she relented to his domination.

Kate dropped her hands down his chest, undoing each button as she went, and tugged at his button-down, freeing the tails from his jeans. With long and talented fingers, she popped the button and pulled the zipper down. Hooking her fingers around the waistband, Kate shoved his jeans and boxers down, grinning approvingly when she caught sight of his length springing free of its confines. Castle let out a stuttering whimper when she wrapped her fingers around his hardening length. She grinned wickedly up at him, batting her eyelashes innocently as she stroked him to full standing.

"God, Kate," he groaned, dropping his head to her chest and kissing the soft swell of her breasts as his fingers danced down her ribs.

Castle tugged her bra cups down with his teeth, too eager to bother with unclasping it from behind. His warm moist mouth immediately latched onto a nipple. Kate moaned, clutching his hair in her fists as she arched her back. His tongue swirled around her nipple and his other hand massaged her other breast with expert ease.

She stroked him harder, squeezing, making him shudder. He pulled back, shoving her hand away, and stared at her with dark cobalt eyes. "God, Kate… I want you," he growled, reaching down and tugging at her slacks with an urgency that sent a thrill up Kate's spine, making her arousal skyrocket to new heights. He undid the button on her pants, and pulled them down her long legs. Smoothing his hands up her bare thighs, Castle reached up and cupped her core, feeling her wetness through the thin layer of her panties.

Kate let out a soft whimpering moan as he played his fingers across her. Flicking her hooded eyes up to his, she nodded and raised her hips as he pulled her panties down and exposed her wet warmed flesh to his hungry eyes. He grinned at her, his eyes sparkling with that boyish mischief she so loved about him. Arching her neck up, she pleaded with him to come back to her; it was cold without his warm body over hers. Castle grinned, and dipped his head down to kiss her, shifting his weight above her as he positioned himself between her opened and inviting legs.

Reaching down between them, Kate grabbed his erection and guided him to her opening. Castle breathed heavily against her cheek and neck as he slowly sank down into her. She rolled her hips, taking more of him in, until he was as deep as he could go. He stilled, buried deep inside her, his breath hot against her cheek. Kate ran her hands up and down his back, cradling his hips with her legs as they both relished in their intimate connection.

And then, he began to move. A low moan escaped her lips as he pulled almost all the way out before plunging back in. Castle grinned against her neck and sucked on her pulse point as he rocked his hips into hers, pushing her into the couch cushions. She wrapped her arms around him and clutched his shoulders, moving her hips with his, matching him move for move.

Castle nibbled along her neck, but he got carried away and bit down a little too hard, leaving a mark. Kate growled, grabbing his hair in a fist, and pulled his head back. She glared at him and clenched her inner muscles around his throbbing length in retaliation. He groaned and dropped his head down against her shoulder, his hips stilling for a moment before she released him.

"What the hell, Castle!?" she gasped, voice hot and breathy. "You know the rules. No biting unless it's in a location that can be easily concealed."

"Sorry," he grunted between thrusts. "Accident." He slanted his lips over hers and kissed her frown away. "You can always wear a turtleneck."

Kate shook her head, but smiled all the same. She kissed him back and hummed into his mouth, lulling him into a false sense of security as one wicked hand traveled down his back to his delicious posterior. Castle let out a startled yelp when she pinched him, and his hips jerked unsteadily for a moment, before he managed to resume his previous rhythm, undeterred by the interruption. She smoothed her fingers over the abused flesh and gave his ass a playfully pat.

He chuckled and dipped his head down to kiss her hard, moving his hands all over her body, touching her in all the right places. They danced together, moving as one, and Kate closed her eyes, basking in the feel of being loved by the love of her life, her one and done. His pace picked up and she matched him, thrust for thrust. He gazed down at her, his hair flopping down over his forehead as they stared into one another's eyes, watching the pleasure and love glazed over the other's eyes.

Kate's mouth dropped as the tight coil, low in her belly, began to release. Her entire body quivered and undulated under Castle's as her inner walls fluttered around his length, clenching tightly as she came undone. A loud moan escaped her mouth as she shattered, falling over the edge. Castle grunted, his thrusts turning sloppy. He brushed her hair back from her face, and gazed at her, watching every minute detail that flickered across her features as she writhed underneath him in euphoria. He dipped his head down and kissed her, stifling her moans, his sloppy thrusts losing all sense of rhythm. He pounded into her harder and harder, and she groaned, riding each wave of ecstasy as it clashed against the shore.

"Kate!" he shouted her name as he tensed above her, finally following her over the edge. She shuddered, moaning at the feeling of Castle's release spilling inside her. She closed her eyes, and let all the sensations overwhelm and surround her, willing surrendering to them, trusting Castle to catch her and keep her safe.

Afterwards, they lay there, spooning on the couch, both panting heavily to recover from their respective highs. Castle's arms were wrapped around her middle, holding her close as he whispered kisses up and down the column of her throat. She giggled softly, biting her lower lip as she eased back into him, relishing the sweet moments when it was just them, and nothing else mattered.

"I love you," Castle murmured against her ear, nuzzling his nose into her hair. "I'm sorry for getting upset earlier."

"No, no," she soothed, turning around in his arms to face him. She reached up to caress the side of his face, and brushed the flop of hair back from his forehead as she gazed lovingly up at him. "You had every right. I was being stubborn." She sighed and looked away. "I… I'm just really going to need you for this one."

"Hey, we'll get through this," he asserted, rubbing a hand up her arm. "Together… we're unstoppable."

Kate turned back to look up at him and smiled. "Yeah," she agreed. "Unstoppable."


End file.
